The Irish, Lisbon Treaty and Monty Python

With apologies to an anonymous donor

Patrick: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint. 

(The owner does not respond.)

Patrick: 'Ello, Miss Borroso? 

Barroso: What do you mean "miss"?

Patrick: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint! 

Barroso: We're closin' for lunch. 

Patrick: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this Lisbon Treaty what I purchased not one half an hour ago, from this very boutique.

Barroso: Oh yes, the, uh, the Lisbon Bullshitter...what's,uh...what's wrong with it?

Patrick: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'It's dead, it's crap that's what's wrong with it! 

Barroso: No, no, 'e's uh,...it's just resting. 

Patrick: Look, matey, I know a dead Lisbon Bullshiter when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now. 

Barroso: No no it's not dead, it's, it's just restin'! Remarkable resilince these Bullshitters, isn’t it, eh? Beautiful art-work, typeface!

Patrick: The art work don't enter into it. It's stone dead. 

Barroso: Nononono, no, no! 'It's just resting! 

Patrick: All right then, if it's restin', I'll wake it up! 
(shouting at the cage) 'Ello, Mister Lisbon Bullshiterzzzzzz! I've got a lovely fresh paragraph for you if you show... 

(Barroso hits the cage) 

Barroso: There, he moved! 

Patrick: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage! 

Barroso: I never!! 

Patrick: Yes, you did! 

Barroso: I never, never did anything... 

Patrick: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO Mr Bullsh*terzzzzzz !!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call! (Takes Lisbon Bullsh*terzzzzzz out of the cage and whacks it on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)

Patrick: Now that's what I call a dead Bullshitter 

Barroso: No, no.....No, 'its stunned! 

Patrick: STUNNED?!?

Barroso: Yeah! You stunned it, just as it was wakin' up! Lisbon Bullshitters stun easily, major.